Category Archives: Illustrations by Maria

“What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes… The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!” Discuss.

It worries me that my first instinct for an apocalypse might be to find Bill Murray. Or maybe not. I realise that he’s trying to instil panic at that point, but that’s not always going to be the most versatile … Continue reading

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What do we want?

Not what we think. I think. And I think most people have an even bigger gap between think they want and what they want than even I think. Want think want think want think. We need to survive. We need … Continue reading

Posted in Illustrations by Maria, Questions by Clair | Leave a comment

Which one?

In British sign language the symbol for ‘which’ looks a little like the hand gesture that Crocodile Dundee makes towards a buffalo to settle it down as the first film opens. He curls under the three middle fingers of one … Continue reading

Posted in Illustrations by Maria, Questions by Emma | Leave a comment

What’s under the blanket?

Everything is the blanket. Outside the blanket is just more blankets. Alternatively, under the blanket is where the romantic tension happens. The soft idle brushes of body upon body. Any excuse to create closeness, contact and the comfort of something … Continue reading

Posted in Illustrations by Maria, Questions by Sandra | 1 Comment

Who would win in a fight between you and a seal?

My pacifism and love of animals would definitely get in the way. Plus I reckon that seals are actually stronger than you think. Although I don’t really know what there method of attack would be. They don’t look particularly bitey, … Continue reading

Posted in Illustrations by Maria, Questions by Chris | Leave a comment

Why do people wear those slotted glasses? (You know the ones that are all plastic in lines hung on stands in the Laines in Brighton)

Kanye made it happen. Though travelling back, I still remember the first time I saw them. I’m not sure if it was real. It was during the tail end of my first period of madness (about ten years ago now). … Continue reading

Posted in Illustrations by Maria, Questions by Jen | 2 Comments

How would one go about relighting one’s fire?

Right now, I really wish I knew. The only hope I’ve got is in this apple I’ve got here. Give me a moment. *** Okay. Sometimes I think that all my problems could be solved if I just remembered to … Continue reading

Posted in Illustrations by Maria, Questions by Ciara | Leave a comment

Why Bother?

Why not? Seriously. I think the natural inertia of not bothering or not doing is built upon illusion. It always seems easier not to do anything, but I think it’s a lie. I think it creates more problems in the … Continue reading

Posted in Illustrations by Maria, Questions by Anna S | Leave a comment

Why Is The Night Time The Right Time? (it is by the way)

Because it rhymes. And everyone knows that rhymes is truths. Also, they mostly come out at night, mostly. Also. It’s when the stars might be out (and they came from the stars, I saw them) and the moon is in … Continue reading

Posted in Illustrations by Maria, Questions by Jen | 3 Comments

Where’s Wally?

There he is. My two abiding memories of Where’s Wally are frustration and the cartoon series, which had a certain coolness to it, despite being boring, and contained the ridiculous notion that Wally  would speak with an American accent. Apart … Continue reading

Posted in Illustrations by Maria, Questions by Jess | 1 Comment