Who, what, where, when, why?

Me, this, here, now,  no idea.

It’s just the way it is really.

I think the important thing is to remain present in the moment. Be fluid. Whys often get confusing, I’m not sure if they are quite as worthwhile as the others.

At least not when they cause consternation. Or are unanswerable.

So I’m me. That is who I am. I often drape labels (and clothes) over myself to try and project an aspect, but underneath it is just me. Plain and simple. Naked and stupid.

That’s fine. That’s enough.

I’ve never really known what. I guess I’m a human. In theory I’m just a point of view. A ghost of consciousness tied to a body. A soul perhaps, but you can’t see that, and it might not be there.

I am of my family and my friends. My loved ones and my strangers. I don’t know what I am beyond that.

The next to come together. I am here (in my living room) and now (about half five on a beautiful sunday afternoon).

These two are subject to change, even as they remain remain the same. Here and now is immediately something. But one is perpetually moving, and the other should move whenever it needs to. Don’t get stuck in the past, or a place you don’t want to be, and don’t spend too long pondering the future or far off lands, or you may never get there.

But why?

I honestly don’t know.

I’ve heard arguments, some of which I like, some of which I don’t.

But I don’t think it bears asking.

We are here, and that is that. In the words of a fantastic guitarist, ‘This is it and I am it and you are it and so is that and he is it and she is it and it is it and that is that’.

There’s not much point in going beyond that. Whys and wherefores are kind of asking beyond what we are even capable of knowing.

And, well, there’s not much point in doing that.

And this is the point. For all that we’re trying to do here, there often aren’t really answers. At least not useful or meaningful ones.

Or perhaps that’s too harsh.

Maybe there just aren’t any absolute ones. Any right ones.

Though there may be no wrong ones either.

And that’s what I like about being me, this, here and now.

I can strive for accuracy, by letting myself be.

I can learn myself, see my resting form, and make motions forward. There’s no need for why, just a self awareness and a will to move.

And that’s what we do. We move.

Only forward.

You never walk down the same road twice, we are trapped in this infinite stream of motion. We move through time.

And as we do this, we find what was in us all the time. The point is to learn yourself from what you’ve done.

Like in Oz, right?

Silly question. Silly answer.


Illustration by Anna-Kaisa.

About Alabaster Crippens

Joiner of Dots. Player of Games. Unreliable Narrator. Dancing Fool.
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