Because a single male is definitely the best person to ask this question.
Seriously, last time (or more likely the first time) a dude (Freud) got involved in this, shit got fucked up. There’s social hangovers from that ridiculousness even now. (For the record, Freud made a prominent distinction between clitoral and vaginal orgasm, claiming that clitoral was only an adolescent thing and so grown up women should only have vaginal orgasms. This led to people believing they were inadequate unless they were able to achieve vaginal orgasm (which is putting female sexuality in control of the penis, which is ridiculous).)
Way to go Freud, you immense douchebag!
Anyway, as you can probably tell, I’ve now read a whole wikipedia page on orgasms (or at least skimmed it). I’ve also collaborated in quite a few (unless I have been tricked by some dread feminine conspiracy, which seems like a long shot, I mean, I don’t think I’m THAT great a catch for people to try and decieve me into believing I possessed prowess I didn’t have….maybe).
So this is all going to be fine.
Right. Facts first.
Something to do with the limbic system (which apparently may not really exist as a ‘system’ so much), it’s autonomic, which means it’s uncontrolled. It’s almost certainly ALL clitoral, it’s just that the clitoris is much bigger than you may think, going back further and wrapping around the vaginal wall, and the front runs like a horse shoe through the vaginal lips and down towards the anus.
There’a a lot of variety from one person to another, so different people are going to feel the sensations of their sex differently.
Anyway, it’s all tied up together, and creates a big explosive release (in brain patterns at least, it is apparently pretty much identical to male orgasm, so I suspect a lot of the hokum around that is social issues…I for one believe men need to sort out their relationship with their orgasms, I’ve been working on mine for a while now, and it seems to be worth the effort).
You used that word I don’t like.
When people talk about a why for things like this, they go into evolutionary fairy tale mode. To clarify, I’m sure it’s possible to tell a pretty tale about why orgasms are needed. I’m sure it’ll be used to enforce gender stereotypes by people who like to do that. I just want to make it clear that it’s probably not true.
My fairytale? Orgasms have something to do with making sex satisfying. It helps sex fill an extra role in our lives. It gives us an outlet to stop us exploding, and I don’t just mean with sexual tension, I mean helping us (men and women, I think I’m talking about it) to release tension and pent up energy of all types. Orgasms are good for that.
You should try it some time.
And don’t ask why. Just ask what it can do for you.
Illustrated by Lucy.