Is it either/or?
I thought the whole point was that the two went hand in hand? Modern urban life equals professionalism and sexiness, together as one. No need for dichotomies, just constant sex chat and sex sex. Ladies who lunch, and the men they crunch.
I don’t know, I never really watched that show much.
My city? Doesn’t seem to get me much sex. I suspect this is my problem. Or the arbitrary nature of a bundle of towns and villages near each other being conglomerated and given city status as a whole. Don’t get me wrong, I think the unitary authority thing works in our favour, but it does appear to stop me from getting laid.
Something is, at least.
Anyway, cities are more efficient, for all their blot on the landscapeness, cities actually reduce carbon footprints for individuals. Of course, our cities are often dreadfully designed. Either because they sprouted up ‘organically’ or because they were designed by people who loved concrete and had no idea how cities should work (they only had the problems of the randomly sprouted cities to try and solve, and a lot of that was symbolism and assumption rather than actual understanding).
The infrastructure is all wrong, but humanity is going to find some way to collapse, and some way to adapt. That’s how it works. Cities will change. Everything will.
Sex probably won’t.
I am a big fan of sex. I think it draws people closer together and allows them to experience a greater part of their self. I don’t exactly see it as a spiritual process, but it is something that draws you into your self and makes you more aware of your centre. Sensation draws us inwards, and sharing that inward meditative aspect with someone is always worth it.
I guess I’d draw some random thoughts out of that whole rambliness. Maybe cities have become the mode with which we reach out to the world, while sex gives us a chance to reach inwards. Feel something at the centre.
It’s probably a bit rubbish if the only way we can experience our selfness is through sex, especially for those (like me) who can’t get any. But I think that’s the key reason to build a good solo sexual practice, occasionally meditative. Aware of what floats your boat and keeping it focussed on something inside.
Hard to explain, and I’m already running out of space, without having made the tiniest bit of sense.
Cities are alienating, but it depends what you do with them. It doesn’t naturally suit community, but then, I don’t believe in ‘natural’ (a slogan I want on a t-shirt). Build your own world around you. Don’t just settle for bleak cement strictures. Talk to people and engage.
And build your own sense and sexuality, while you’re at it. Both can be about connections, reaching out and reaching inwards. Finding a place for you, and finding yourself in that place.
The two go together, like a ramalamalamakadingadadingadong.
Illustration by Karen.