Have Karen and Kat had a nice week in Devon?

A question from the past, asking what the questioners, who I am not, are feeling.

I guess this is a test for my ‘seeing things from other people’s perspective is the most important skill you can have’ schtick. (Can something still be considered a ‘schtick’ if you can’t come up with a concise definition of it without an awkward run-on sentence? I’ve got no idea, and it’s apparently too early for me to give a shit.)

Apparently, I’m grumpy.

So. You want me to tell you how your holiday has been. The holiday I have not been on, and which at least one of you has been, to some extent, avoiding twitter, the only means I have to know what’s going on.

And you think this is what people are interested in?

I should probably point out that both Karen and Kat are quite awesome people. A mathematician and a violist (in my brain that is their most archetypal poses) full of grudges and love, it’s like the original odd couple (only not remotely, I just always wanted to write that. I should point out, I actually have NO idea what it means).

Anyway, they’re in devon. Judging from the slow dripfeed of information, Kat has spent most of it complaining and Karen has spent most if it in some kind of indentured servitude, ensuring a constant stream of coffee and food is brought before the Magnificent Kathryn.

Oh, and they both had cream teas, which made me jealous.

Also making me jealous was Kat’s favourite place in the world. After an immediate pang of ‘surely showing us how lovely your holiday is when we aren’t on holiday is actually just cruel’ I genuinely ended up staring at that little stream for about half an hour.

Apparently, I quite want to go to Dartmoor.

But this isn’t about me.

Karen has largely failed to break her twitter addiction in that she seems to have been on twitter everyday, but she has also successfully not live blogged any lie ins, which has to represent some kind of victory. However, most tweets during the week did consist of ‘I’m trying to not use twitter whilst on holiday’ which strikes me as marginally self defeating. Maybe I’m just old fashioned.

In this picture they look a bit like the beastie boys. (They don’t).

Anyway, the point is, they’re in a gorgeous bit of countryside, with people a person that they love and care about. They appear to have eaten lots of lovely food and Kat’s only hurt her feet once (I think).

If they aren’t having a nice week then (a) it’s their own bloody fault and (b) they don’t deserve to go on bloody holiday, and they certainly shouldn’t make someone who’s not been on their holiday write their bloody travelogue.

Streams, cream teas, stupid hats and hills. This is what nice holidays are MADE of.

And friends. That’s important too.

Now come back and start being miserable again, you bastards.

Illustration by Karen and Kat

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About Alabaster Crippens

Joiner of Dots. Player of Games. Unreliable Narrator. Dancing Fool.
This entry was posted in Questions by Karen, Questions by Kat, Special Guest Illustrations. Bookmark the permalink.

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