I suspect that’s largely up to you. I mean.
If life gives you lemons, paint that shit gold.
Well. Actually, that’s kind of grotesque, but it’s also the best album title in the universe.
The fact is, each moment is new. We’re starting over from a new now. We have, at the very least, the illusion of free will. As far as our perception is concerned, we are making decisions every second. It looks like we can decide anything at any point.
Our life so far has bought us so far. So far.
From here on in, we are moving.
Every moment is a potential new beginning. You can look back, at everything that bought you here, and you can feel trapped or freed or built or destroyed. The future, you can’t look at. But it’s there. It’s huge and wild and untamed.
Right now. You care making a decision. What you are going to do with what you have learnt. What you can do with what you’ve been given. Which future to eat.
In this now. You make fortune or misfortune of everything. You’ve been dealt this moment. You built it, with the help of infinity. It’s not all your responsibility. But now is. This moment is. You can’t help a lot of the stuff that got you here. But you can decide for yourself what your current action is.
You can’t read the future, you can’t know how it’ll work out. The world is the largest, most infinite confounding variable imaginable.
Fortune is what we call the things we didn’t control. We ascribe it to luck or fate or the guiding hand of some cosmic, incomprehensible force.
That infinite pile of stuff that gets in the way or pushes you along? Don’t think of it as luck. It’s the universe, doing what it does. There’s no need to personify it, to brand it or even try to understand it.
Just watch it. Try and learn from it, and keep on moving.
When someone hits reset on your life. When it all finishes dramatically and you’re back where you’re started. You’ve just lived and learnt.
You can’t go back. So you never really start again. You’re just carrying on. Differently. Better practiced.
Life is about paying attention and trying to get things done.
Neither of these things is necessarily easy at any given point. But. Well. They also kind of are. If you don’t get too distracted. Don’t get bogged down in the stuff you didn’t do (or did do, for that matter). Look, learn, move forward.
You’re starting over every second. Every instant is a new one. It’s here for you to take and eat and do as you want. All of time is laid out behind you, and an infinite variety of possible universes is stretched out ahead.
Pick one. You can choose to see it as good or bad fortune. Or you can just see the path you’ve chosen.
And start over every instant.
Illustration by Jessica.