Is the way to a man’s heart really through his stomach?

Certainly not from a surgical perspective.

The two bodily systems, circulatory and digestive, and pretty well differentiated as far as I understand. If you cut into the stomach you’d just have to wrestle through acres of other body bits to get to the thing you were aiming for.

Why would you bother?

That would probably be a good example of facetiousness. But then, we’ve started off the week with a gendered stereotype and I’ve got a job interview soon. Mild irritability is a good way to wake up.

Music is supposed to be the food of love, and for some people (like me) that’s probably a truth. But food is the food of life (and cream is nature’s milk).

That’s pretty important too.

The obvious thing to say would probably be that being able to cook gives you instant evolutionary kudos. It’s one of those supposedly hardwired instincts: provision = protection = good mate.

Of course I don’t think practicalities work out quite like that in this day and age.

But cooking, and food, remain sexy.

And not just sexy, but bonding and unifying.

Cooking a meal with someone is a good way to get to know them. You get to understand some of their communication skills (if any) and may get an insight into control issues.

But don’t take it as the only indicator. Cooking is one of those things that’s much better served by one person being in control. Even the anarchists seem to understand the necessity of a hierarchy in a kitchen.

Eating with people is a great way of establishing bonds and ties. The evolutionary theory would probably point to the notion of eating as a time when your defences are down, so eating demonstrates trust. There’s also a communal feeling to meals. Things are shared and provided.

And it’s great to be able to talk over a meal. And sometimes really explore how it was made.

‘Like many things in life, it is about the right balance between the salt and the sweet.’

Cooking can be a great metaphor for life, and social structures, and love, and a billion other things. The way people cook tells you about them. Whether they’re strict rule freaks or just love to shove everything about and see what happens.

But then, sometimes microcosms are misleading.

I don’t think man is any different from woman in this particular field. I suspect that cookery is equally sexy to either sex.

If done well.

Also, it’s worth noting that for me, the stomach does have a massive effect on mood. There’s a shortcut to the brain that equates hunger (or tiredness) with grumpiness. You don’t even realise why you’re doing it, or how bad it is.

So I guess the stomach is a great way of soothing a particular part of the heart.

But I’m not gonna not fall in love because of bad cooking.It’s a kind of ineptitude I could deal with.

But then,  a well-cooked breakfast can be the pinnacle of romance.

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Illustration by Lucy.