Can you write me a Petrarchan sonnet featuring four of the following five items? a) Ed Miliband solving a rubiks cube in under 1½ minutes b) A half assed autopsy on a fish c) Art Garfunkel being gunned down by fedora wearing state troopers d) The number 81 bus e) A well timed solar eclipse

81

I’ll not forget my journey on that bus

As David, grizzled, wrestled with his toy,

I stirred at his sibling’s unalloyed joy,

While elder bro made nothing but a fuss,

The younger calmly did his hair unmuss.

I ‘pologise if this makes your heart cloy.

But love and teamwork passing boy to boy,

Was quite unlike the fam’ly I called us.

Sky darkened as young Ed grabbed the puzzle

In inky blackness unseen colours clicked

And as the sun returned Dave got his wish.

Sun came back, Dave’s rage we had to muzzle

Ed’s reward was to have his bare ears flicked.

My brother said: ‘let’s autopsy this fish’.

Fuck you, Chris.

—

Illustration by Chris

(Love you, Chris)